Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
