The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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