I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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