Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
