how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
