glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
