is your mom at the bar?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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