Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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