Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
