I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
