your room smells of hookers.
And success
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
