Duck Duck Cougar?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
