Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
