Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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