"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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