he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
