I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
