while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
pray to the hookup gods
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
