I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
