Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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