i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
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