Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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