the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
