Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
