Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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