i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
