No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
