They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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