So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
