ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
