Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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