sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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