never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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