We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
