You made me cry and you don't even care
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
