I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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