you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
