so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
