Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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