I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
