i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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