Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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