Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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