We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
