if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dicks are not precious.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
