I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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