I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
