Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize
