where does the pee come out of this thing
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you mean i was at the winter classic?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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