dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
