how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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