omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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