have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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