My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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