Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No subtext here. People are naked.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
