If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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